i've been noticing an edge to myself that at times i find
difficult to reel in. the thing about having a child (or two) and then
losing them, is that you still have to deal with the after-effects of
everything, despite the fact that they're no longer living.
insurance, for example. i recently received a letter about services rendered for lily and my insurance company requesting more information. so i called to ask about it.
"i only see you and your husband under your plan," the attendant said.
"then what do i do? these services were for my daughter," i replied.
"you didn't enroll your daughter in your plan."
insurance, for example. i recently received a letter about services rendered for lily and my insurance company requesting more information. so i called to ask about it.
"i only see you and your husband under your plan," the attendant said.
"then what do i do? these services were for my daughter," i replied.
"you didn't enroll your daughter in your plan."
here i could feel the pressure building, but tried to keep my voice calm and
even -- i didn't enroll my daughter in our plan because she passed away."
even to my own ears the words had come out alittle snippy, despite my
best efforts.
"oh." she went on to explain, gentler now (or
had she backtracked?), what i needed to do. and then, "i'm
sorry."
but after hanging up, i was the one who was feeling sorry.
it hadn't been her fault that she didn't know what had gone on in my
life.
perhaps the anger that i thought was nonexistent is starting
to show its face.
at least if i know that, then i can fight twice as hard to
squelch it.
