bugged out

i had my first bug encounter this morning at the new house.  or rather, outside of it.  i knew it was inevitable, but nothing could have prepared me for it.  not even after my husband had said soberly, "we live in the woods... there are going to be bugs."  i knew that.  what could i expect, really?  there was no denying i had already seen those dead spider-cricket things we kept finding in the house, but they would magically disappear.  (okay, maybe not magically).  but after i'd spot them, i'd scrunch up my nose and pretend they weren't there, and the next day, they'd really be gone.  (my husband is so gracious sometimes).

 

back to the bug story.  so to start this off, it would make sense if i started from the beginning with the events from last night.

 

since our driveway at the new house is about a quarter-mile long, we leave our trash bin near the end.  so as today was trash day, i loaded up the trash in my car trunk to drive it down the night before.  since it was pitch black, i was relying on my headlights to unload.  but i soon realized the headlights wouldn't stay on unless my car door stayed open while i worked.  so this must have been when mr. ugly creepy bug made his way into my car without my knowing it.

 

i discovered the unwanted insect this morning, after i'd driven down the driveway and made a right down my street.  he dropped from above me and landed on my hand.  i freaked, of course, which means i screamed and shook my hand until he landed on the floor mat beneath me.  he wasn't moving, so i assumed he was dead.  okay, i could deal with a dead bug in my car so long as he was really dead.  but he wasn't, because when i glimpsed again, he was squirming, or shall i say slivering, and when i peaked again, he was nowhere in sight.

 

i hate that. 

 

so i slammed on the brakes, parked the car in the middle of my street, and got out.  there was no way i'd be able to drive to work knowing there was something with that many legs crawling around in my car.

 

i extracted the mat and found him in the middle of it, so proceeded to slam the mat against the asphalt, hoping to shake him free.  he wasn't going anywhere.  i shook harder.  once i couldn't see him anymore (and checked my pants and shoes to make sure he hadn't snuck his way back into my life), i stuffed the mat back in its place, jumped back in my car, and drove away.

 

the whole episode had only delayed me a total of 4 minutes.

 

and lucky you, you lived to see another day, bug.

 

now just stay out of my car.