It's a very odd time to be this pregnant during a pandemic. On the one hand, I'm trying to stay grounded... I work for a health system after all, and have always practiced hand hygiene and been a germaphobe with our four-year-old. On the other, I'm being induced in 5 days (yes, 5!) and restarting chemo 5 days after that (yes, 5). So feeling a bit vulnerable? Definitely.
But if there's anything I've learned over the years, and especially over the last few months, fear will get you nowhere. I could have been paralyzed by it -- when I first found the lump in my breast, when I had the biopsy, when I was given a cancer diagnosis, when I underwent surgery. I could have been overcome with it -- when I started treatments, when my hair started falling out, when I knew I had to be strong for my baby. I could have let it slow me down, but instead, I let it drive me as it normally does -- to do the same things I've always done, to continue moving, to keep our little girl happy and unaware and maintain a semblance of a routine.
So tonight we did what we'd normally do and braved the store for some last-minute items before baby. I'll have to admit, it was the weirdest Target run ever (and at the same time a bit fascinating, when you're trying to figure out why certain items are being stockpiled more than others).
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| I legitimately needed baby wipes. This is what was left. |
Just being there and seeing those empty shelves felt a bit like panic, and I didn't want to be there longer than I needed to. But I'm happy to report there was plenty of ice cream for this momma and Paw Patrol sneakers in the right size (score!) for a delighted soon-to-be big sister, so at least we managed to pick up some of the items we actually intended to get. I'm convinced it's those little things that will keep us sane...
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| Last MFM visit at 36w2d! (and last MFM visit ever). The final countdown begins! |
