Thursday, November 24, 2011

our tradition

"Our Tradition”
Thanksgiving 2011

For our family, Thanksgiving has always been the “it” holiday, even bigger than Christmas or New Years.  I wonder how this came about and all I’ve come up with is that we used to always travel for the holidays, spreading our time between relatives in Chicago and New York, enjoying the festivities that each metropolis would offer.  Come January we’d often find ourselves still packed and ready to go, facing a new year like it was another trip on the road, not quite settled before it was time to go again.  So maybe Thanksgiving simply felt like home, loyal and steadfast, a testament to us like it was ours.

After my sisters and I had left for college, my mom would always make sure to pull us back for Thanksgiving, eager to cement our plans before fall semester had concluded.  “When are you coming home?” “What should Dad and I make?” “Have you heard from your sisters?”  She would be excited to see us, our hustling, bustling family under one roof again.  Over the years, the questions are still the same and the warmth in her voice carries me all the way back to New Jersey.

This year, my mother has organized a party like no other.  I can imagine the scene now: My sisters and I in the warm kitchen (since my dad will already have something in the oven or on the stovetop) clamoring around while we wait for mom, always fashionably late, to wake from her nap.  The husbands will be undoubtedly hovering, picking at this and that while we shoo them away to watch TV.  At some point, my aunt will flurry in with her daughters and grandbaby in tow, enough of a commotion for my mom to make an appearance.  Then more cousins, complete with a chattering pair of kids, and my husband’s family, my in-laws with their arms full of food and cookies.  There will be commotion and laughs and hugs and the lingering scent of dinner, and before we know it one of my cousins will ask, “When are we eating?” and somehow we’ll squeeze the lot of us around two long tables, the piano bench serving as a couple of chairs.

For me, this is the kind of scene I look forward to each year.  Sometimes minor details will change, like what we’re cooking or the number of people showing up, but overall I can count on our togetherness.  I can count on the noise.  I can count on the stories shared and the elation felt and the promise to do it again, and soon.  Every Thanksgiving, I can count on all of you.

Dad, this was a big birthday year for you and all the more reason to celebrate.  In the thirty years I’ve had with you, you’ve shaped me in so many ways; I’ve noticed this in the most elementary practices in my life.  Thank you for your kind heart, quiet strength, and the appreciative manner in which you lead our family.  You have the ability to teach me something without my even knowing it; sometimes the advice you’ve given resonates much later, but you’ve provided me with the tools and clarity to find my way.

Mom, my fearless momma, always the strong one.  I will never forget how frightening it was for us when you were first diagnosed, then decided on surgery.  You handled each step from your operation through recovery with optimism and faith.  These days, you’re still one of the first people I call when I’m faced with a difficult situation, knowing that you’ll be there on the other end of the line with honesty and conviction.  You are my biggest advocate.

Rach, my little sister, a married woman!  It was amazing to stand with you at the altar on your wedding day, witnessing you exchange vows with your new husband.  What a blessing it is that you have found your better half, the person who completes you.  It’s humbling to see you grow into the next stage of your life: the role of devoted wife (and adventurous cook)!

Sarah, a college grad.  It was surreal attending your graduation ceremony, watching you walk across the stage to receive your diploma.  I am so very proud of you.  I’m glad you come to me to talk things out about the incredible responsibility you feel and struggles you face as a student teacher.  You do noble, giving work, and there is no one better suited for it than you.

John, welcome to the family!  I’m thankful that you’re around.  I’ve realized now that you will forever be finding something to fix or improve, taking care of business as you do with everything.  You look out for the family with a willing, generous spirit, keeping those you care about top of mind.

Anthony, my best friend, my comfort.  I am lucky not only to have an unwavering supporter, but someone who challenges me every day.  In your arms, I am safe; in your eyes, I am cherished.  You constantly show me that we can make it through anything, large or small, as long as we rely on one another, as long as we’re together.

Dad (Rediger), thank you for your considerate regard for both Anthony and me.  Without question, you consistently have our best interest at heart, whether it is packing up food for us after a visit or bringing the truck around so that we can go “shopping.”  Every plant or flower you have personally added to our garden is done carefully and thoughtfully.  Thank you for enriching our lives.

Mom (Rediger), our one-of-a-kind supermom!  If you discovered one of us in need, you would drop everything or do anything in your power to absolve us of our troubles.  It is exemplary of the gracious, inherently good, admirable person you are.  Thank you for everything you do, donating time and energy and a listening ear.

Jana, my partner in crime.  Thank you for always being there for me.  I know that you will laugh with me but cry with me too; we’re a natural pair, so whatever I feel, you feel.  Thank you for working at our relationship and keeping us connected.  I truly enjoy our little messages throughout the day!

Nan, here’s to a wise, remarkable woman.  I love hearing you tell your stories with expressive candor and ease, transporting us back into another time and place.  Your vitality is channeled through your ever-growing family, which is reflected right back at you.

To my family – this year, I thank you for tradition, our tradition, I can count on.

Traditions are not for keeping.  They’re for keeping us together.”  –Hallmark commercial

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