who knew?

we finally received our babies' cremains yesterday (and yes, cremains is a word i recently learned, who knew?), and it's given me a sense of closure.  it had been really difficult for me because our children weren't with us and we weren't able to lay them to rest.

 

we hadn't been receiving much communication from the funeral home, and since we'd never been in this type of situation before, weren't sure what to expect either.  how long did it normally take to receive remains?  what needed to be done?  what needed to be processed?

 

then we were asked if we wanted the remains as they came out or more fine.  not knowing the difference, we were told that when they came out as is, they would look more skeletal.  yikes.  we decided to go with fine, so we wouldn't be able to see pieces, but seriously, who knew??

 

when the funeral director dropped by to hand over the cremains, i was surprised by how light the box was.  he explained that the ashes wouldn't be white, although i wasn't expecting them to be.  i'm not sure what i was expecting.

 

now it's time to shop for urns, and i never realized how many kinds there are: pewter urns, bronze urns, ceramic urns, marble urns, glass urns, wood urns, biodegradable urns... not to mention the sizes: adult, child, pet, companion, keepsake?  really?  who knew?

 

and don't even get me started on how to settle on a headstone.  or two.

 

just another set of firsts we never thought we'd be encountering.

another first though, was last night.  it was the first night (probably not the last) that i went to bed with dry eyes.  i think having the kiddos with us gave me some peace.