hoppy halloween

since i returned to work a few weeks ago, i noticed a couple of changes.  a new fax machine, a new copier.  a different shuttle bus.  and an elaborate spider web that spanned from a yellow parking pole to the key card machine which opened the gate to the parking lot.

okay, interesting.  interesting that it was still there the next day, and the next week, and had somehow survived the weather and all the employees who swiped into the lot everyday.  after awhile, it stopped bothering me as much, considering i didn’t see the creater of that piece of art, and i was super careful to skirt around the thing when i had to access the lot.  plus it was autumn, aka creepy spider season, so it had every right to be there.  right.

probably about a week ago, i noticed that most of the web had been destroyed.  it was kind of a shame, as i had sort of become accustomed to seeing it, and after all, it had been sort of festive.  october and all.  you know, halloween right around the corner...

so this morning, being one of those glum, rainy, yucky days, i rolled down the window reluctantly, not wanting to be splashed.  in the time it took me to get my ID badge and move towards the window, something appeared in my peripheral vision.  something big.  something suspended there.

forcing myself to look, it was a spider, and i would bet my bottom dollar that it was the spider, the one that had been MIA for weeks.  the thing was beige, and something about that au naturel shade makes my insides squirm.  within seconds my fingers groped for the window button, but to my horror, as my window went up and up, the thing was coming down, down, down, legs squirming, INSIDE my car.

“ohmygodohmygodOHMYGOD!” i yelped, as it closed in on me and i managed to park the car, unbuckle myself, and jump out of my seat onto the console.  i tried to blow it away from me, but that only made it drop towards my seat, which still partially held the bottom half of my body.  too close.  way too close.

i looked around for something, anything, that i could use to get this thing out of my car.  my eyes caught on a balled up tissue in the side pocket of my door.  summoning up some courage, i used the tissue to disconnect the spider from the web i couldn’t see, throwing the tissue over it, which landed on the floor between the door and my seat.

taking a breath, i let myself into the lot, trying not to look down as i found a spot and parked.  quickly.  my skin was crawling and i was pretty sure i could feel the thing creeping up my pant leg.  ick!

i picked up the tissue and studied it.  no mr. spidey.  grrrreat, so he was in the car somewhere.  i stuffed it back into the side pocket, grabbed my purse and lunch tote, and made a speedy exit.

in my car window, i scrutinized my reflection, making sure i didn’t have some beige blob on my person.  in the clear, i looked down at the floor of my car.  a starburst wrapper.  another tissue.  geez, when did i get so messy?  and you know what?  it didn’t help that the floor of my car was beige.

i almost walked away.  almost.  thought it would just die in my car and that would be the end of it.  out of sight, out of mind.  even closed the door and was about to lock it, then told myself that i’d have to drive home tonight, and what if it were still alive then?  under my seat?  and it would be dark then too, so i wouldn’t be able to see it crawl towards me...

a shiver went through me.

with a groan, i opened the door and stuffed my belongings on the front seat.  studied the ground.  where was it?  picked up the tissue again, and ack!, it was there.  okay, it wasn’t that big, maybe the size of a nickel.  or a dime.  but good, at least i found it.  i thought for a moment, seriously considered leaving the tissue next to my car, decided i really couldn’t litter, and tried to figure out a way to make it crawl onto the ground.  strapped for time (i couldn't be out here coaxing a damn spider all day, darnit), i rubbed it gently onto the ground.  it stood there, unharmed.  bright against the wet blacktop.  it dared not to move.  ha!  who was boss now?  i had boots on, and it wouldn’t take much for me to smash it to bits.

instead, i just picked up a leaf and covered it.  then grabbed my stuff, took a giant leap away from it, and locked my car.  phew.

hoppy, er, happy halloween.