pockets

“Pockets”

Thanksgiving 2015

When I think of Thanksgiving, one of the first words that come to mind is tradition.  I think of how the kitchen is always the warmest place in the house, with the oven going all day and food and people occupying every available space.  I think of my sisters running late, or my mom napping, or my dad finding a quiet place amidst the chaos.  I think of the spread, a mishmash of Asian dishes next to the customary sides, and how I’ve never known a different kind of Thanksgiving.

This Thanksgiving is different though.  Anthony and I have had the most amazing year bringing Sophia into our lives, and I think about what I want her to experience with us as our own family unit – what I want her to see, to learn, to someday pass down to her own little ones.

Yet I also think of all the other days during the year.  The “every” days, the in-betweens, the fillers, the do-overs, the ones burdened by schedules and deadlines and mediocrity.  I think of those days because they so quickly add up to a year, and I only pause when I think about how to summarize that year into a single day.

For someone who thrives on planning around the clock – preparing bottles and presentations and family events and meals and even when I’ll be able to catch a bit of sleep – Sophia has managed to shake up my life in ways I had expected (yet couldn’t have really expected).  She’s effectively thrown a wrench in my best-laid plans, and in the best possible way.  She’s shown me that it’s okay to be loud when others are quiet, to make my voice heard.  To look around and take in the world a day at a time.  She’s taught me to grasp pockets of time, and to cherish them for what they are.  To recognize not only her milestones, but mine too.  She’s made my most ordinary moments extraordinary, opening my heart up in ways I didn’t know could be expanded.  She’s reminded me to slow down when needed, and to give myself a break once in awhile.  To prioritize and to sacrifice, and to not feel guilty about my choices.  To appreciate every smile, every coo, every wiggle, every breath.  To see.  To be.

And most of all, to be thankful.  To be so, so, thankful.

So for someone who used to plan my days from one to the next – here’s to the unforeseen and unexpected.  Here’s to off-roading and discovering sweet surprises in places that wouldn’t have been revealed had I stayed the course.

Happy Thanksgiving to my wonder baby, and my wonderfully adoring family, both present and in heaven.  May the pockets of your lives be boundless and remarkable.