self-care is health care

Two years ago on Halloween, I had my first (unscheduled) mammogram. I had found a lump about a week earlier and my doctor referred me for an ultrasound which turned into a 4-hour appointment... which turned into "highly suspicious for malignancy." Stunned and a little incredulous, I reached out to a friend who told me to go trick or treating with my daughter, so I got myself together and did just that.

A biopsy followed. Two days later, ahead of my read appointment, I was called into the office to receive my results. In that moment, I knew something was wrong. I was numb when I heard the diagnosis -- ductal invasive carcinoma. I was scheduled with a breast surgeon the next day. And I was 18 weeks pregnant.

My oncologist and I discussed treatment options, what was safe for the baby, and timing. I was already in the high-risk category with the pregnancy, so was feeling overwhelmed and anxious, and utterly powerless. Although I was told to take care of myself, the thought of actually pausing for a moment to do that seemed implausible... I was carrying life inside of me, and it seemed so at odds with the rest of what my body was doing.

For the first time in a long time, I had to refocus on my health, and I had to do it with the same vigor I usually reserved for my family and my career. When I was told not to worry about a thing at work, I placed trust in those words so my energy could go where it was needed.

Time, suddenly, felt more important. There were appointments and schedules as my providers mapped out a plan. There was port placement, surgery, and 2 rounds of chemo, a scheduled induction so I could resume treatments 5 days postpartum. There was a beautiful, healthy baby boy. There was a pandemic. There were treatments alone, with a newborn at home. Then came radiation, and in the whirlwind of 6 months, I had completed active treatments.

Now there was time to take a breath.

The lesson? When I think back to that time, aside from the enormity of it all, I go back to 3 things:

1) Self-care is essential.

2) Refocus, reframe, reprioritize.  

3) When support is offered, take it.

I find myself going back to these things when I'm feeling a little stuck or overwhelmed. I couldn't be at my best, at home or at work, without taking care of me. So take the time to take care of yourself today; give yourself the opportunity to be better.