strained

i pulled a muscle again in my back yesterday.  i say again because it happens frequently, and always in the same spot in my lower back.  usually i can pinpoint exactly when it happened or what i did, but this time all i can come up with is it happened sometime after lunch, and came on suddenly without a twist or a jerk.  i merely went from a seated to a standing position and couldn't get myself upright.

i guess i could be considered a bit young to have back problems, but i've always been... let's call it, "top-heavy," so i've had these issues since my early 20s (i've said it many times before: it is not a blessing!!).  the first time i remember straining my back, it hurt so badly that i could hardly get myself from my apartment into the car, and i think i cried the entire drive home.  my mom was able to get me an emergency session with an acupuncturist (it pays to have a mother who knows just about everyone) and i threw out any reservations i had about being stuck with needles in exchange for some relief.

so i have been walking around gingerly and essentially crooked for the last day and a half.  it's almost impossible for me to bend without feeling pain, so i pretty much don't.  it takes me about twice as long to do anything, whether it's putting on my socks or going to the bathroom (which requires pulling off/on pants and getting on/off the toilet seat).  stairs are my enemy now... i need to take a step at a time and generally do them sideways.  overall, my pace has slowed down significantly.

whenever i am out of commission like this, i am reminded of how fast the world moves around me.  why is everyone in such a rush?  it almost makes me feel helpless, like i am off-tempo with my universe.  and what's most frustrating is the only way to get better is with rest, patience, and time.  but how can i give up time, when it doesn't wait for anyone?