when i was in my early 20s, i lived with a friend of mine for a few years. she was younger than me by 3-4 years, and although we were in different stages of our lives, i constantly went to her for advice. i don't know if it was because of convenience since she was next door, or that she was a psych major and seemed to possess a general understanding of people and relationships, or simply because i trusted her. no matter what the reason, i'd often vent to her for hours into the night, relying on her input for sensible solutions. most of the time, i think i just needed to talk it out. she was a good listener and only offered suggestions if i asked.
i think i've always been able to listen, but it was only after i had shared these conversations with my old roommate that i truly appreciated how important listening can be, especially when it comes to dishing out advice. the 2 actions go hand in hand, and you can't do one well without the other. it may be a reason why people now come to me, asking for my opinion or instruction or merely to act as a sounding board. they know that i'll sit back quietly to take in their words before formulating a plan.
so in essence, i've come to believe that in order to lend a hand, you must first lend an ear.
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