imprints

i have this thing with the smooth, flat edges and clean lines of a new book.  i often go to great lengths to keep pages unruffled and covers untarnished while reading them for the first time.  only those close to me have actually borrowed books from my collection, if they were lucky and caught me on a giving kind of day.

my husband, though accepting of this obsessive trait, once remarked that books should be worn, alittle softened, a bit used.. essentially that they should look read.  at the time, i defiantly disagreed and chalked up my defiance to his theory as a result of my own neurosis.

this afternoon, i was flipping through a recipe book on the couch when it dropped to the floor and creased one of the edges.  most people would probably just pick it up and move on with their lives.  me?  i think i stared at it for about 2 whole minutes, smoothing back the cover, trying to undo it, take back time, questioning my decision to lay the book down on the arm of the couch in the first place before it made its regretful tumble to the ground where its flawless canvas would be ruined forevermore.

then, while placing the book delicately back into its drawer, i thought, i can change this.  so what if it's no longer perfect?  it's used, it's been touched.  and it's just a book for goodness sake.. stop being so darn dramatic!

perhaps things are not meant to be perfect -- perhaps they're meant to be alittle tarnished, alittle ruffled.. like leaving an imprint or mark behind.  and so maybe i can see my husband's point now.. but let's not tell him that.