draw the line

tonight we had dinner with friends who i haven't seen in probably close to 3 years.  we used to all work at the same place and have kept in touch here and there but couldn't ever get our schedules together.  the conversations were easy and carefree and we had a nice time.

when i look back over the years, the people who are still in my life sometimes surprise me.  people who i always thought i'd be close to have faded away and some that i didn't expect would stick around, have.  those that i stopped speaking to also didn't make any effort to contact me, and that was just the natural progression and cessation of our relationships; no hard feelings or fall outs, only quite simply, the end.  as i've gone through changes in status (marriage), locations (moves), and jobs, my friendships have evolved too.

a girlfriend of mine recently was struggling with issues that all seemed to stem back to her choice of friends.  she told me that she felt used and abused in her relationships and wasn't sure why she even put up with it.  i told her the most efficient way to deal with her problem would be to draw a line, one half including her and the other not -- and then sit down and decide who she would want on her side and who she could bear living without.  i know it is easier said than done, but once she jumped over the initial hurdle, she would see the finish line.  take it from someone who's been there.

several years ago, i was stuck between a number of friends who treated me like dirt until one day, i decided to change it.  since then i've been picky with who i consort with and it has really given me peace of mind.  like i told my girlfriend, i am more content having a few amazing, wonderful friends than a ton of not-so-great ones.

and for the ones who i've chosen and who have also chosen me, who make the effort and reciprocate, our relationships will continue to develop and mature in value.