Thursday, March 17, 2011

violent silence

i'm an expert at the silent treatment.  it's not a skill i'm particularly proud of, but a skill nonetheless.

whenever i'm angry, instead of boiling over, i generally simmer beneath the surface.  like i've mentioned before, i'm unable to formulate the words i want to use to convey the feelings i want to express.  instead, i am mute, collecting my thoughts, simulating comebacks and shouting them in my head, sometimes wishing i could have said them but glad that i hadn't.

the longer i stay mad, the more times i've gone through the above scenario.  the cycle will repeat itself until i'm raging, fuming mad.

but i remain silent.  and the whole time my mind is on overdrive, my pulse racing, and i'm completely and utterly consumed with burning, irrational fury.

nobody would know this, except that i appear to be exceptionally quiet and remarkably apathetic; often unresponsive, but if i do reply it is with one-word answers in a flat voice and dismissive tone.

i can go about this for hours.  days.  sometimes, i don't even want to stay mad, but my pride gets in the way.  other times, i can't even remember what i'd been annoyed about or what had even started it all.

that's when i know i'm ready to let go.  it only takes a rueful look, soft word, or loving gesture and i crumble.  we hug it out and something lifts, like a burden released from my heart.

it is true what is said about how the person holding the grudge is the one who ends up hurt.

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