pen to paper

whenever i write, i need time for my thoughts to marinate beforehand so the juices can seep and fester.  then, when i'm ready, i sit myself down and the words just flow, pouring right out of me.

i've done this since i was in junior high when i had substantial homework.  it continued throughout high school whether we had essays or senior projects, which we often had weeks to do.  i'd end up working on them the night before, occasionally pulling all-nighters.  my mom told me i should quit this bad habit -- waiting until the last minute -- but how could i explain to her that no matter how long i'd sit in front of my notebook or computer or how detailed of an outline i created, it would do no good?  my mind was what had to be prepared; my thoughts had to be organized in my head and kept there until they were ready to be sorted out and shared on paper.

in college, this process bothered a classmate and good friend of mine.  we had some healthy competition going on when it came to our essays.  she would spend weeks on her research papers, picking her topic, developing her ideas, formulating an outline, writing and editing several drafts, and finishing up her final draft early.  i would choose my topic and think about what i wanted to write in the back of my mind for weeks, do some research here and there (but mostly during the week it was due), and write it all up a day or 2 before the deadline, editing as i went.  when we received our grades, we would compare our scores, and she'd either beat me by a couple points or i'd beat her by a couple.  but we were always close, and this drove her nuts.  she constantly asked how in the world i pulled it off yet again.

i do the same for creative writing.  as a teenager, it would only take one word or idea to inspire a poem or short story.  i often kept a notebook and pen handy, but even then felt like i couldn't jot down what was swimming in my head fast enough.

since i've been blogging though, i find that my writing process is alittle different.  i do still think about what i want to write in spare minutes during my day or on the car ride home.  but once i'm in front of my laptop, it can go either way.  sometimes i can write my entire post without stopping, a smooth transition from my head to my fingers.  other times, i struggle a bit, the 'backspace' becoming my enemy.  could it be because i know what i post will be shared with the world the instant i click 'publish,' whether i'm ready or not?  perhaps.

still, no matter how it comes out, i'm writing.  (and editing -- that part never stops).  and somehow what i want to say is said.