today was my childhood friend's wedding, so we left our house in the morning to make the 3+ hour drive to VA. it wasn't until after we'd arrived at our hotel, checked in, made it to our room and unpacked that i realized i had forgotten to bring my contacts! leave it to me to pack my case, solution, cleaner, etc. but not the contacts themselves. how does a planner forget something like this? well, i use a spare case for travel only so that i will never forget my case (like i had in the past) -- but somehow in the rush of packing and getting out the door, it had slipped my mind that i hadn't popped my lenses in before we'd left.
luckily i had my glasses, but felt like a major dork having to wear them out -- especially when i was all dressed up, especially to a wedding, especially to see a friend i hadn't seen in close to 15 years. and then it dawned on me: my old friend probably remembered me with glasses, all those years ago. it was a funny coincidence, but put me at ease and allowed me to resign to the fact that there was nothing i could do about it now but to suck it up and embrace my inner (and outer) dorkiness.
we made it to the ceremony in the nick of time, and i had what felt like a boulder in my stomach. it felt surreal to be there witnessing such a momentous occasion, seated amongst her closest friends and family when we had been absent from each other's lives for so long. when she came out and down the aisle, she looked exactly as i'd remembered her, minus the dyed, permed hair and braces, but it was her. and when she and her husband-to-be exchanged vows, i teared up not only from the words they shared about each other, but from hearing her voice (that was so familiar and instantly recognizable) which brought me back to our easy, junior high-age friendship.
there was no receiving line (i'm not a huge fan of those anyway), so once the reception started, my plan was to go over at some point to give her a hug and thank her personally for the invite. however, as the hours went by, i slowly become more and more nervous (what do you say to someone after 15 years??), wanting to chicken out, making excuses (she's talking to someone, she's taking pictures, she's just busy...) until my husband told me we weren't leaving until we said our hellos and congratulations (and that he'd go with me to do it). it didn't take long for him to pep talke me into getting out of my seat and walking over to where she and her groom were.
it was there that i discovered it doesn't matter how much time has elapsed or even what you say to one another. there's something deeply rooted, comfortable, natural about knowing and being close to someone once before. she said i looked exactly the same (it was the glasses, i tell you!) and that she couldn't believe i was there but happy that i was. she mused about how weird it was after all this time -- how i'm married and how she is now, asking me if i had kids yet. it seemed like only yesterday we were kids ourselves. we chatted for a few more minutes, filling in the gaps as best we could, introducing each other to our husbands, briefly explaining what we were doing now.
afterwards, my husband asked if i was happy i had finally worked up the nerve, and i thanked him for giving me the the push i needed. he responded by telling me i'm braver than i give myself credit for.
i generally don't think of myself as brave, but i guess it's not everyday that i'll have the opportunity to revisit my past in my present, and to take it.
congratulations to my old friend -- and i hope it doesn't take 15 more years to bring us together again.
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