twin reunion

i was filling out my timecard at the end of the day, a routine, mechanical task, when my brain finally kicked in:

hmm.  think that was a sure sign it was about time to go home?

i didn't head home though.  i drove about an hour and 45 minutes to drop by my twin's sister's surprise bridal shower.  i wasn't going to miss a chance to give my congratulations, and especially to see my twin who's only home for a few days, all the way from california.

hooray for the holidays, for bringing people together.

shop til we drop

one of my girlfriends is a great holiday shopping buddy.  we've been christmas shopping together for at least the past 3 years.  we're drawn to the same stores and naturally take the same amount of time in each of them to browse and make our purchases.  she's also very good about offering her honest opinion if i'm stuck between 2 things, which is exactly what i need.  it's hard when someone tells me that either one is a good choice or that it's up to me because i hate making those types of decisions.  and isn't that why i'm asking for a second opinion in the first place?

i've known my friend for 11-some years now. i met her when she was probably only 14, and now she's 25. i'm somewhat surprised that we've kept in touch over the years but am glad that we have.

it's funny, we don't see alot of each other throughout the year but always make a date when november or december roll around.  it just makes sense for us to go as a pair since it always works out so well, and of course, because we always have a great time.

so today i'm thankful for awesome shopping partners!

good company

we had dinner tonight with 2 other couples who we haven't seen in awhile.  a couple of years ago, we used to have a sort of dinner club but our schedules stopped coinciding so our dinner dates gradually stopped too.  but i'm glad we got them going again.

out of the group tonight, 5 out of the 6 of us had worked at the same company during the same time and all of us have left except for one.  so naturally the conversations led to the good ol' times at work and funny things that have happened over the years concerning our mutual friends.  it's nice after all this time (i've been gone 3.5 years myself), that we still have so much to laugh about.

one of my closest girlfriends constantly tells me that i changed her mind about "work friends" and "real friends."  she used to always think of coworkers as just coworkers and nothing more.  but we developed a friendship outside of work and have kept in touch even though both of us have left the company that brought us together.

when we spend the highest percentage of our days and time at work more than anywhere else, how couldn't we become invested in the people we work with?  i think it's inevitable.  sure, you don't love  or have to love everyone you work with, but once in awhile you luck out with a group that becomes like a family you're tied to and accept because you care.  and when the family gets together, there's bound to be some memorable, laughable moments.

midnight madness

after a delicious thanksgiving feast (and what a feast it was!), my sisters, cousin, and i stayed up to check out the black friday deals at target. the doors were set to open at midnight so we arrived a few minutes afterward, assuming that the lines wouldn't be bad based on previous years when we went at 5 a.m. once we made it into the parking lot, we quickly discovered how wrong we had been -- the line stretched from the door down the street and there were literally people everywhere. (it appears that we're not the only crazies who'd rather stay up thanksgiving night instead of waking up at the buttcrack of dawn). we made it into the store quicker than we expected to though, only to be greeted by another line inside that was apparently for electronics. thankfully we weren't looking for any of that. we navigated the crowd as best we could, seeking items to cross off our christmas shopping lists.

when i was standing in one of the aisles, i heard someone call my name. the voice belonged to a childhood friend of mine that i probably haven't seen in close in 15 years! i was surprised she recognized me since i was wearing my glasses, but she looked exactly the same so maybe i haven't changed much in her eyes either. my mom runs into my old friends more often than i do since her and my dad moved back to our hometown, and she told me so. we chatted fairly easily as if we see each other on a regular basis. it was some kind of fluke that we ended up in the same store, in the same aisle, at the same moment.

after about an hour and a half of shopping, my sisters and i started towards check-out which wrapped around from the back of the store and around the aisles until we were assigned a cashier. the whole process took about 40 minutes of waiting, plus another 5 or so in guest services for a price adjustment since i noticed i had been overcharged. once we left the store, all of us were too tired and too shopped out to go anywhere else. was it worth it, though? i ask myself that every year and the answer is always yes. not solely because of the deals i score but because of the time spent with the sisters.

chit chat

i have a girlfriend who i chat with nearly every weekday, sometimes for maybe just a minute or 2.  we'll "talk" about how our day's going at work, what our plans are for the weekend, our families, our mutual friends.  most of the time we launch right into subjects without the technicality of a greeting, our online onversations comfortable and candid.

over the years (i think it's been 7!), we've come to know and understand each other through these fragments of our days, tossing out subjects, gauging our emotions at the moment, supporting each other.  they've almost become one long, ongoing conversation, keeping us connected.  i've found that i've come to look forward to sending a quick, how's it going? message.  what may seem light and casual has amassed substance, and ultimately, a good friendship.

"Talking with a friend is nothing else but thinking aloud."  --Joseph Addison

accented

i have a friend from long island, NY that i've known for close to 12 years.  we met in college through a suitemate of mine, and we've managed to keep in touch since then through short messages and a phonecall every once in awhile.  he is probably the exact opposite of me in every way, and if we lived close to each other i doubt we would have ended up in the same circles, but the reason we stay in touch is because i think we really "get" each other.  it is evident in our banter; he is like the brother i never had.  we can go about our lives for months at a time without saying a word, but the minute we check in it's like we haven't missed a beat.  over the years, i've found that relationships like this are rare, so i make it a point to maintain our friendship, as does he.

we have this running joke (and a point of contention) about our manner of speech.  he has a thick long island accent that he argues is not an accent, which i counter that it is, and he'll end the conversation saying i'm the one who has the accent.  and how can i argue with that?  in his world, i do... and in mine, he does.  it's a wonder we can even communicate (which, now that i think of it, was hard for me at first.  i used to make him repeat everything, partly because i needed to register what he was saying and partly because i thought it was both funny and interesting hearing a word i knew being transformed into something else).

so, i guess to each other we'll always be accented... but at least i don't need to hear him to understand what he's getting at. 

blast from the past

today was my childhood friend's wedding, so we left our house in the morning to make the 3+ hour drive to VA.  it wasn't until after we'd arrived at our hotel, checked in, made it to our room and unpacked that i realized i had forgotten to bring my contacts!  leave it to me to pack my case, solution, cleaner, etc. but not the contacts themselves.  how does a planner forget something like this?  well, i use a spare case for travel only so that i will never forget my case (like i had in the past) -- but somehow in the rush of packing and getting out the door, it had slipped my mind that i hadn't popped my lenses in before we'd left.

luckily i had my glasses, but felt like a major dork having to wear them out -- especially when i was all dressed up, especially to a wedding, especially to see a friend i hadn't seen in close to 15 years.  and then it dawned on me: my old friend probably remembered me with glasses, all those years ago.  it was a funny coincidence, but put me at ease and allowed me to resign to the fact that there was nothing i could do about it now but to suck it up and embrace my inner (and outer) dorkiness.

we made it to the ceremony in the nick of time, and i had what felt like a boulder in my stomach.  it felt surreal to be there witnessing such a momentous occasion, seated amongst her closest friends and family when we had been absent from each other's lives for so long.  when she came out and down the aisle, she looked exactly as i'd remembered her, minus the dyed, permed hair and braces, but it was her.  and when she and her husband-to-be exchanged vows, i teared up not only from the words they shared about each other, but from hearing her voice (that was so familiar and instantly recognizable) which brought me back to our easy, junior high-age friendship.

there was no receiving line (i'm not a huge fan of those anyway), so once the reception started, my plan was to go over at some point to give her a hug and thank her personally for the invite.  however, as the hours went by, i slowly become more and more nervous (what do you say to someone after 15 years??), wanting to chicken out, making excuses (she's talking to someone, she's taking pictures, she's just busy...) until my husband told me we weren't leaving until we said our hellos and congratulations (and that he'd go with me to do it).  it didn't take long for him to pep talke me into getting out of my seat and walking over to where she and her groom were.

it was there that i discovered it doesn't matter how much time has elapsed or even what you say to one another.  there's something deeply rooted, comfortable, natural about knowing and being close to someone once before.  she said i looked exactly the same (it was the glasses, i tell you!) and that she couldn't believe i was there but happy that i was.  she mused about how weird it was after all this time -- how i'm married and how she is now, asking me if i had kids yet.  it seemed like only yesterday we were kids ourselves.  we chatted for a few more minutes, filling in the gaps as best we could, introducing each other to our husbands, briefly explaining what we were doing now.

afterwards, my husband asked if i was happy i had finally worked up the nerve, and i thanked him for giving me the the push i needed.  he responded by telling me i'm braver than i give myself credit for.

i generally don't think of myself as brave, but i guess it's not everyday that i'll have the opportunity to revisit my past in my present, and to take it.

congratulations to my old friend -- and i hope it doesn't take 15 more years to bring us together again.

boost

a coworker leaves me random pick-me-up notes in semi-obscure places on my desk.  i found another one yesterday, which appeared to have been sitting there for a couple weeks.  it made me laugh, and was exactly what i needed.

good friends pick you up when you least expect it.

back to the backpack

i am not one to forget things.  because i'm a planner, i'll prepare everything to a tee, up to and including things that a person can't even be ready for.  but that doesn't stop me.  i'll find something, anything to plan.  so i'll write my lists (on sticky notes, of course), check them off, re-list items, e-mail my to-do list to myself... anything, everything, to avoid forgetting the tiniest detail.

so when something slips my mind, i'm blindsided.  how could i have possibly forgotten that?  i'll ask myself.  even those around me, who know my crazy must-remember tendencies, find it a bit out of character when i actually don't remember something.

as i've grown older, this has become a constant internal battle, partly because i have more responsibilities and limited time, and partly because it's impossible for a normal human being in their 30s to remember everything.

and yet, i struggle with the reality of it.  i do everything in my power to make sure i don't slide, even though i can feel it lurking beneath the surface.

if i had to determine why i am like this, i think it may stem from a backpack.

shortly after my family moved to l-ville and i started school, a girl from my bus stop befriended me.  she was a year older but took me under her wing, and naturally, we became best friends.  we lived in the same neighborhood and (i'm not sure i'm remembering this correctly), although there was a bus stop down the street from my house, i would walk through the development in order to meet up at hers.  this often meant that i would have to leave earlier than i needed to in order to catch the bus, which also meant that i'd most likely be rushing.

one day (and again, this is based on what i recall), i walked all the way to the bus stop, and my friend asked me where my backpack was.  i turned around, only realizing then that i had forgotten it!  it took me a beat to acknowledge that it must have been at home, but only a few seconds later to decide that i had to run back for it, with my friend eagerly in tow.

(on a side note: yesterday this same old friend found me on facebook, which reminded me of this story.  so say what you will about facebook, but you can't deny it connects people)!

well, we missed the bus that day and my friend's mother had to drive us both to school.  although i can't remember all the details of the incident exactly, the feeling i had from forgetting something stuck with me.  seriously, how does someone forget their backpack going to school?  i felt silly and sheepish, ultimately caught off guard.  and that, even as a child, felt unnatural and uncomfortable.

so i think the neglected backpack started it all.  i knew i never wanted to feel 'ambushed' again.  this doesn't mean i can stop my forgetfulness from happening, but i'll continue doing whatever i can to ensure a more.. formulated outcome.

exit zero

cape may is exit 0 off the garden state parkway.  for me, it is alittle like being... nowhere.  the feel is relaxed and comfortable, even in the middle of town and despite the crowds during the peak of summer.

we were lucky enough to be down here on a terrific, sunny day, spending the leisurely hours with friends.  we took a walk to the beach, a trip to the dock to watch people crabbing (first time for me) and painting, a stroll into town for some window shopping and an ice cream cone.  it was a nice retreat, although i would have liked to stay longer than i could.

for someone that's not a beach person, i've sure found myself there alot this year!

fish 'n friends

tonight we hosted our 4th(?) annual sushi party.  it's always a great time.  my husband and i provide all the necessary fish, ingredients, and supplies, and our friends jump in to make their own creations.

people always ask me how i learned to make my own sushi, and the answer is that i taught myself.  one day, i told my husband i wanted to try to duplicate what i've seen in restaurants at home, and so i did.  then i started inviting a couple friends over here and there, teaching them too, and soon, the sushi party was born. 

i usually invite a number of "regulars" and then some "newbies" who are interested in learning how to roll their maki and are open to a different experience. we tell guests it's BYOB, and then it's a party.

this time we had our biggest group yet.  there was a moment when i was in the middle of the hustle and bustle in the kitchen when i realized i have a really eclectic group of friends.  i'm never sure how the get-together will turn out, but when you have a bunch of people there all for a common love of sushi and a unique experience, how could it truly go wrong?  it's so nice to be able to bring a bunch of the people you know from all walks of life together for a night of good food and good conversation.