have you ever unintentionally cut off another car on the road? and then felt awful about it?
there's always this moment after i've realized my mistake (too late) that sticks in my mind. it's when i have to let the car pass. i avoid all eye contact since i'm unsure what the person will do now -- will they give me the finger? the evil eye? a friendly wave? curse? ignore me? and no matter how apologetic i feel or how much i wish i could express it, i can't face them.
it's kind of like when i go through the motions of a humdrum day, convinced i've made good progress, only to remember something had slipped my mind. and i only have 10 minutes to take care of it. it's that heart-jolting nervous energy, the butterflies in my stomach. it's the oh crap.
is there one word that sums up that feeling? is it anxiety? embarrassment? guilt? remorse? humility? i think it's all of the above, a hodgepodge of emotion, layered and intertwined, unwelcome but so familiar at the same time.
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