remember my insomniac post? well i hardly sleep a wink when my husband's away on business. i'll go shopping or run errands after work until my feet start to hurt and my stomach protests in hunger. it's almost as if i'm subconsciously trying to avoid going home to an empty house.. something about sleeping in a big bed in a dark house just isn't very appealing.
at my parents' 30th anniversary party, something my father expressed to the guests resonated with me. he thanked my mom for the sacrifices she had made throughout the years, understanding his absences while he traveled for work and when he couldn't be there for her. it's funny, but until he had stated that outloud, it had never crossed my mind how accepting my mother really was. since my dad was the breadwinner, the one working long hours and commuting long hours, i assumed that he was giving up more.
awhile later, i asked my mom how she did it, how she was okay with being apart from my dad. she replied matter-of-factly that it was hard sometimes, but she found ways to occupy her time. perhaps that's what i'm doing when i'm roaming the mall or taking my time in the store.. filling up my evening, pushing off the inevitable: climbing into our bed alone, keeping to my side, because the other end is reserved for someone miles and states away; and maybe if i'm lucky, my dreams will bring him home.
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