bows

not long after we moved to our area, we noticed that 2 white crosses were erected along a patch of interstate not from from our house.  the crosses appear almost bare with simple markings that can not be read from the road.  the only adornment on each is a simple bow, changed once per season or holiday.  the posts sit side by side, in memory of 2 loved ones who were lost, presumably in a vehicle accident in that very spot.

it has been a few years now since the crosses first appeared, but like clockwork, the bows are replaced every few months.  sometimes they are pink and blue, so i assume they represent a man and a woman, or yellow and orange when the leaves start to change.  other times they match, bearing the same velvet crimson and evergreen over the christmas holiday.  no matter what they signify, the intention is clear: someone cares deeply about their departed and has found a way to remember them.

i drive by this display every day on my way to and from work, and it is a constant reminder about how fragile life is.  it could be 'shattered' as easily as the result of a wrong turn, a wrong intention, a wrong diagnosis, a wrong medication, or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  mere seconds could change an outcome, to save or take a life.  we are not invincible or absolute.

i see this in my work as well.  day in and day out we deal with those who are dying, people who are at the end of their lives.  yet in my experience, it is the families who are suffering while patients are at peace.  that is because they are the ones who are coping with the loss.

in a recent weekly message from our CEO, she said that:
"In the world of hospice, one might think that because loss is a normal part of our days that we may become immune to its consequences for others.  This is not the case here..." 

that statement is true for my workplace and equally valid for my life.  it is incredibly important to remember not only those who are lost but those who have lost.  the reason is because loss, in any form, is never easy; grief is immense and seemingly insurmountable, and there are multitudes of ways, unique to each person, to navigate it.  some may be consumed with guilt (as portrayed in the movie 'the machinist') while others may go to combat (like elijah wood's character in 'the war').  on the other hand, some may desire to make the most of the time that's left, seeking life lessons ('tuesdays with morrie') or to reconnect ('the last song'), or even to find a way to honor the deceased (the final scene in 'milk').  whatever the method or process of healing, one thing is certain: life is precious and irreplaceable, and those left behind have only acceptance and remembrance to look forward to.

let us not forget those who have touched our lives and those who will memorialize us even after we are gone, adorning our existence, once bare and unremarkable, with colorful, thoughtful bows, sentiments of love and affection.